Surprise Wedding!
So, my family is screwed up. Screwed up in ways dissimilar to most people I know. It's an utter breakdown in communication, it happens on both my Mom's side, and my Dad's side, for completely different reasons. On my Mom's side, we just tip toe around actual issues, if it's important, and the slightest bit controversial, big time avoidance of it, little hints dropped here and there, until enough of the story is revealed, I've come to cope with that, and that's not what this post is about, this post is about my Dad's side. Everything on my Mom's side is for the entire side, it applies for my mom, grandmother, aunt, uncle, well, I'll be honest, not sure about the uncle part, rarely ever see that portion of the family. Whereas I have no idea what the rest of my Dad's family is like. I used to see them all the time, but since my parents got divorced, not so much, they may have communication issues, but I have a feeling it mainly revolves around my Dad. And to show it, welcome to Wacky Sam's Story Time.
So, a few years ago, about two years after I had moved out of my Mom's, which would mean it had been about 7 years since my parents got divorced, I got a call form my old neighbor, Alice. I have many stories of her, but those will wait. Anyway, Alice needed a ride to her daughter's work so she could then later go get her car from the shop. I was in the area, and she was always good to me, so I was more than happy to oblige. I picked her up, and we begin making casual conversation. At one point she asks me "How is your dad doing with his MS?" And being that I didn't know my father had MS, I did my natural reaction of "Oh....you know....good." The subject changed and we moved on. The next time I spoke with my brother, I asked, mainly curious why the hell I'd be left out of the loop about such an issue. Turns out he didn't have MS, they just thought he did, or something, but he's fine, and I don't know. Later I found out that this had been happening for some time, and my mom even knew....my mom and dad don't talk, meaning this went back to when they did, which was a long time ago. So I stayed out of the loop for a good 6 years on that one.
Moving on. The pops and I go get lunch every so often, once every couple of months or something, I don't know, not all that frequent, probably because of this whole communication thing. Anyway, one day I called him up and asked if he wanted to go get lunch on (insert whatever day of the week I had in mind). His response was, and I think I have it verbatim here: "I can't that day, I have to take Misty (his girlfriend, I'll mention her in a bit again, more back story on her then) to her doctor's appointment for her stroke." Again, I was completely unaware that anything had happened, and again I reverted back to my natural reaction "Oh...stroke....yeah, ok...what about (insert other day.)" Eventually something worked out, hasn't been talked about since.
And now the reason I decided to write this blog. Yesterday I received an email, I'm going to post it here. But before I do, I will give some precursory information.
Te people mentioned:
Mom-My grandmother, my father's mother. Her name is Marie.
Marge-My father's sister.
Maureen-My father's other sister.
Mary-Yet another sister of my father.
Before I go on, you may have noticed all their names start with "M." Not only that, but my Dad's name is Marvin, and his father's name Melvin. Obviously Melvin and Marie are "those parents" who felt it necessary to name all their kids with the same letter, same as their names, on top of that. I find it weird, but whatever.
Misty-My father's girlfriend
Now on to backstory of Misty, this is more so going to be surrounding the stroke issue, this info isn't necessary at all. My father and Misty have been together for.....I'll be honest, I'm not too sure how long, atleast since my parents got divorced, maybe longer, I don't know, I've made peace. She has her fair hare of medical issues, some weird balance thing, vertigo, who knows what else, I forget. She also had a stroke, probably because she has a lot of other issues, probably related. My father has told me before that they'd probably get married, but they hadn't because she was on medicare, due to her massive issues, and if they got married, she'd kind of lose out on that, and my fathehr can't afford her medical expenses. Anyway, on to the email:
Dear Sam,
Well I don't know if your brother told you, but five women are out to get me. Mom, Marge, Mary, Maureen and Misty have schemed to
the pinnacle of evilness. It appears we are going to Pendleton next week where Misty and I will be married in Margarets' backyard on the 24th. I assume that Michael is a innocent bystander.
Anyways that is what is happening in my world. How are things with you and your beloved. Keep cool.
Love,
Dad
Now, I get a couple things from this. Firstly, my brother knew several days before me, and I'd like to know why I was informed later, and also why my brother, whom I kno is reading this, jerk, didn't tell me, he claims he forgot, jerk. Secondly, either this is the best scheme ever, my father is easily fooled, or it's a lie. I think there's actually another option of this. Here's what I think hapened: they often spoke of getting married, and they at one point decided it was now feasible. Misty then got to planning, and as Misty talks to my father's sisters quite often, they (the evil women in my father's life) came up with a plan, and then they just told my dad. Figuring he wouldn't have a problem, and even if he did, too bad for him, he needs to stop his whining, which is a fair enough assesment. But since my father wasn't involved, it's a conspiracy. In all reality, I'm a bit surprised this isn't some sort of political conspiracy aimed at making him poor. I don't think he actually believes everything is a political conspiracy aimed at making him poor, but his words would make you think otherwise. Thirdly, and finally, the brevity of this email absolutely astounds me. One would also think he'd invite me or something, I don't know.
Anyway, I made this entire post just to show you that email, I think it might explain a lot about me. Those of you who know me may understand more about me now. It may have done nothing, I kind of just find the entire thing hilarious, which also seems sad. I think normal people might find the situation sad, but seriously, hilarious.
So, a few years ago, about two years after I had moved out of my Mom's, which would mean it had been about 7 years since my parents got divorced, I got a call form my old neighbor, Alice. I have many stories of her, but those will wait. Anyway, Alice needed a ride to her daughter's work so she could then later go get her car from the shop. I was in the area, and she was always good to me, so I was more than happy to oblige. I picked her up, and we begin making casual conversation. At one point she asks me "How is your dad doing with his MS?" And being that I didn't know my father had MS, I did my natural reaction of "Oh....you know....good." The subject changed and we moved on. The next time I spoke with my brother, I asked, mainly curious why the hell I'd be left out of the loop about such an issue. Turns out he didn't have MS, they just thought he did, or something, but he's fine, and I don't know. Later I found out that this had been happening for some time, and my mom even knew....my mom and dad don't talk, meaning this went back to when they did, which was a long time ago. So I stayed out of the loop for a good 6 years on that one.
Moving on. The pops and I go get lunch every so often, once every couple of months or something, I don't know, not all that frequent, probably because of this whole communication thing. Anyway, one day I called him up and asked if he wanted to go get lunch on (insert whatever day of the week I had in mind). His response was, and I think I have it verbatim here: "I can't that day, I have to take Misty (his girlfriend, I'll mention her in a bit again, more back story on her then) to her doctor's appointment for her stroke." Again, I was completely unaware that anything had happened, and again I reverted back to my natural reaction "Oh...stroke....yeah, ok...what about (insert other day.)" Eventually something worked out, hasn't been talked about since.
And now the reason I decided to write this blog. Yesterday I received an email, I'm going to post it here. But before I do, I will give some precursory information.
Te people mentioned:
Mom-My grandmother, my father's mother. Her name is Marie.
Marge-My father's sister.
Maureen-My father's other sister.
Mary-Yet another sister of my father.
Before I go on, you may have noticed all their names start with "M." Not only that, but my Dad's name is Marvin, and his father's name Melvin. Obviously Melvin and Marie are "those parents" who felt it necessary to name all their kids with the same letter, same as their names, on top of that. I find it weird, but whatever.
Misty-My father's girlfriend
Now on to backstory of Misty, this is more so going to be surrounding the stroke issue, this info isn't necessary at all. My father and Misty have been together for.....I'll be honest, I'm not too sure how long, atleast since my parents got divorced, maybe longer, I don't know, I've made peace. She has her fair hare of medical issues, some weird balance thing, vertigo, who knows what else, I forget. She also had a stroke, probably because she has a lot of other issues, probably related. My father has told me before that they'd probably get married, but they hadn't because she was on medicare, due to her massive issues, and if they got married, she'd kind of lose out on that, and my fathehr can't afford her medical expenses. Anyway, on to the email:
Dear Sam,
Well I don't know if your brother told you, but five women are out to get me. Mom, Marge, Mary, Maureen and Misty have schemed to
the pinnacle of evilness. It appears we are going to Pendleton next week where Misty and I will be married in Margarets' backyard on the 24th. I assume that Michael is a innocent bystander.
Anyways that is what is happening in my world. How are things with you and your beloved. Keep cool.
Love,
Dad
Now, I get a couple things from this. Firstly, my brother knew several days before me, and I'd like to know why I was informed later, and also why my brother, whom I kno is reading this, jerk, didn't tell me, he claims he forgot, jerk. Secondly, either this is the best scheme ever, my father is easily fooled, or it's a lie. I think there's actually another option of this. Here's what I think hapened: they often spoke of getting married, and they at one point decided it was now feasible. Misty then got to planning, and as Misty talks to my father's sisters quite often, they (the evil women in my father's life) came up with a plan, and then they just told my dad. Figuring he wouldn't have a problem, and even if he did, too bad for him, he needs to stop his whining, which is a fair enough assesment. But since my father wasn't involved, it's a conspiracy. In all reality, I'm a bit surprised this isn't some sort of political conspiracy aimed at making him poor. I don't think he actually believes everything is a political conspiracy aimed at making him poor, but his words would make you think otherwise. Thirdly, and finally, the brevity of this email absolutely astounds me. One would also think he'd invite me or something, I don't know.
Anyway, I made this entire post just to show you that email, I think it might explain a lot about me. Those of you who know me may understand more about me now. It may have done nothing, I kind of just find the entire thing hilarious, which also seems sad. I think normal people might find the situation sad, but seriously, hilarious.
posted by Sam at 4:17 PM
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