Extinguish my face, please

This post is related to the last one. it's only been a couple of hours since my last post, but what a couple of hours it's been. After about 2 hours my face finally stopped hurting. I licked my lips and tasted pepper, which was just a giant beckon of the doom to come. I knew I had to get the pepper off my face, but I was faced with a dilemma. As you may remember, I said water reactivates the pepper. Well, showers are primarily composed of water. About 30 seconds into the shower my face began to hurt again. I kept on. I scrubbed my face with soap specifically for faces. It didn't seem to help. I waited another minute, then I scrubbed my face with body wash. I was nearly willing to grab anything in the shower and just pour it on my face.

I have never sworn so much or so loudly while taking a shower. Probably a god thing my wife and her friend didn't come home while I was in there. Oh Sweet Zombie Lincoln, my face hurts. About as much before, thankfully my eyes are fine. But I think I moved pepper some. My ears burn, they didn't before. Its a horrific feeling. I wonder how many more showers I have to take tonight before there is no more pepper. Whoever thought to harness the power of peppers into a spray designed to go on the face should just fucking get raped by a porcupine.

A THOUSAND NEEDLES IN THE EYES!

If anybody ever offers, or tries to make you take a oleo-resin capsicum training, your answer is "If you don't get away from me, I'm going to rip your intestines out through your calves, yeah, calves, figure that out, asshole."

Let me explain a few things. First oleo-resin capsicum. Oleo, meaning oil. Resin, I think you know what resin means, if not, stop reading my blog, I don't need your kind here. Capsicum is pepper. So, oily-resin pepper. Pepper spray. Now, training itself was not bad, reading, test, fake spraying etc. But a condition of the training is that you, yourself, are sprayed with pepper spray. And let me tell you, it's pure awful.

Going back, the training manual, put out by a pepper spray company itself, says that it feels like a thousand needles in your eyes. You know that feeling you get when your foot falls asleep, I mean, like really bad, like you walk on it and it not only hurts, but sometimes you're not sure what you're doing and you walk around like a retarded gorilla. Imagine that feeling in your foot in your damn eyes. The manual wasn't lying either, it feels like that. Now, as a condition of my training as a top of the pack security guard, ha, was that immediately after being sprayed, I had to cuff a guy, and then frisk him and find a weapon. Only then could I submerge my head in water. That water was great feeling, but short lasting. After washing my face with baby shampoo, it's easy on the eyes, I stood up, dried off, and paced for about 15 minutes. It seemed like the right thing to do. Wind feels amazing, sun feels awful. Your eyes stop hurting after a few minutes, but guess what, your brain doesn't think you should have them open. You can open them for a few seconds and your brain goes "Wait a second, I tried that once, it turned out pretty bad, close eyes, now."

After you dry off, a new effect takes hold. Before, the eyes just burned and you cough some, because you inhale pepper. Once dry, though, your face burns. Imagine the worst sunburn you've ever had, raise it up about twice as many notches and imagine it on your face. It's been an hour and a half since I was sprayed and my face still burns. Your only thought is "I need to submerge my head in water again, that shit was amazing." There's a catch though, thankfully our trainers told us this catch. Water does feel great, but once you take your head out again, and dry off, it will burn slightly more. As you stand around dry it slowly goes away, but water reactivates the god damned satan pepper. It makes your face burn more, it may get more pepper off, but it will intensify whats there.

It also affects some people way more than others. In fact, about 2% of the population is completely unaffected by it. They get sprayed and nothing really happens. We had a guy kind of like that in our training, he's a douche. That's a lie, he's a pretty nice guy, but the fact that it didn't effect him much makes him an assboat. Yeah, assboat. Anyway, it's way worse the whiter you are. Which, as my good friend Jarrett points out, "thats interesting since we designed pepper spray to injure young black men." The more aryan you are, the worse it is. In case you've never seen me, I'm a combination of English, Swedish, German and Norse. You can't get much more Aryan than that. I'm very white, blonde and blue-eyed. Luckily, I didn't take the advice of one co-worker of "You should shave beforehand." God, that would have been a bad idea. That was my adventure today, I'm now sitting in my house, with a fan blowing in my face, dirnking milk and from time to time rubbing cold things on my face, which, to anyone who was watching and didn't know the circumstances, might lead them to belive I had a weird fetish for metal things, but they feel so damned nice against my face.

Hicktown, USA, and my recent knowledge gain

I think Spokane just cemented itself as a Hicktown. It has nothing to do with fiscal status, or the amount of cars parked in lawns. It has to do with this article: http://www.spokesmanreview.com/breaking/story.asp?ID=14824
Read it, the blog will wait, really only the first four paragraphs are necessary. I'll let it sink in a minute, again, the blog will wait for you, you read it at your own discretion anyway.
This dude plead guilty and was sentenced to 18 years, whatever, happens all the time, really it happens in non-hickish cities more often. The part that makes it hickish is that he got married minutes before being sentenced. He was wearing his freaking prison uniform. And to make it even more hick-tastic, the judge who sentenced him is the same judge that performed the marriage. That doesn't happen in cities with more than one judge, does it? How can it, it's freaking ridiculous, this isn't Ritzville.

Moving on to my knowledge gain, it regards my beloved sport of baseball. Baseball is exempt from antitrust laws. Professional sports in general kind of are, but baseball especially. It goes way back to the collapse of the Federal League in 1915. The remaining parts were essentially scrapped off and sold away, owners allowed to buy other teams, players divvied up, etc. One guy wasn't allowed to buy a team, he got pissed, he sued. In 1922 in Federal Baseball Club v. National League the supreme court decided that baseball wasn't governed by the Sherman Antitrust Act because baseball wasn't interstate commerce. You see, it wasn't interstate commerce because they played in one state at a time. The travel was incidental, I think it's silly, but I can kind of understand it. TV wasn't around yet, and radio signals didn't go far, so most of the commerce was pretty much in a single state.

Then, in 1952 in Toolson v. New York Yankees the court upheld their ruling. And they upheld it primarily because of their previous ruling. See, the court decided that because they had declared baseball exempt, and congress had failed to change the Sherman Antitrust Act, they must have specifically meant for baseball to be exempt. It was action via inaction.

Then in 1972 a man named Curt Flood was traded from the Cardinal to the Phillies. He didn't want to play for the Phillies, so he refused to be traded, and sued. In Flood v. Kuhn the court again ruled in favor of baseball, in this case Bowie Kuhn, the commissioner of baseball, who oddly enough, was a lawyer in the Toolson v. New York Yankees case for baseball. He thought about again representing baseball in this new case, but in the end decided not to do so. Anyway, the court specifically said baseball was indeed interstate commerce, and by all reasonable logic should fall within the governance of the Sherman Antitrust Act, but again, because they had already ruled on it, and congress hadn't changed the act, it meant baseball was supposed to be exempt. The court decided again that it was action via inaction. It was a closer vote this time around 5-3, one justice recused himself from the trial because he owned some of Anhueser-Busch, which owned the Cardinals. One justice who had voted in favor of the Yankees in the Toolson case changed his mind and voted for Flood in the last case, expressing his remorse for his decision the first time around.

The Supreme Court is always crazy. I knew baseball was exempt, but I was unaware the specific reasoning, and honestly, I'm still not sure of the reasoning, I understand the technicalities behind it, but the reasoning is Chris Bridges.