Facsimiles of Joy
I meant to post this yesterday, my apologies to Jeff Simcox.
So, I was working on Tuesday, the 19th. And, for those of you who are unfamiliar with my job, it used to be that I drove around for 8 hours listening to music. That's changed to driving around for 90 minutes, followed by sitting in a parking lot for four and a half hours, then driving around again for an hour. The parking lot I sit at is beneath the freeway, I basically just sit there listening to music, driving around the lot every half hour to count the cars.
Around 10 AM on Tuesday I was doing my normal drive around, counting cars. At the west end of the lot were two men, possibly homeless, sitting there on a bench, talking. Technically I'm supposed to tell them to get the hell out, but my philosophy is that if they're not hurting anybody, then what's the harm. Usually they sit there for five minutes or so, then keep moving anyway. So I kept driving.
On my second time around the lot, I saw one of the guys standing there, while the other was still sitting. He was standing up against the wall, which is made of cinder block type stuff, so it's a wall, but you can see through it, has lots of holes. Anyway, this guy was standing there, and I couldn't tell if he was exposing himself to me, or peeing. Regardless, I wasn't happy, I just saw his penis, and I'm not very okay with that. I exit the lot, and drive around the outside of it, and immediately notice the pee dripping down the wall. God fucking dammit. I eventually turn around and go back to the lot, but by the time I got back, the other guy was peeing on the wall. Anger.
I got out of my car, walked up there and just went "You guys gotta get out of here." The peeing guy had stopped by that point and kind of just nodded and smiled at me, it was pretty creepy. The other guy began to collect his things, cigarettes, back pack, etc. Recently peeing guy basically just kept nodding and smiling, and it just kept getting creepier. Original peeing guy just kind of mumbled that they were collecting cans. Mumbling to the point that I asked him to repeat himself. Slightly louder he said "We're collecting cans." To which I said "That'd be fine with me, but that's not what you're doing, you're peeing on the wall, and I'm not okay with that."
They left without any complaint, and upon leaving the lot magically met up with two apparent friends. Maybe they weren't friends, just some sort of bum code to talk to each other, I don't know. but that's my "I saw a homeless man's penis" story. Magical, wasn't it?
So, I was working on Tuesday, the 19th. And, for those of you who are unfamiliar with my job, it used to be that I drove around for 8 hours listening to music. That's changed to driving around for 90 minutes, followed by sitting in a parking lot for four and a half hours, then driving around again for an hour. The parking lot I sit at is beneath the freeway, I basically just sit there listening to music, driving around the lot every half hour to count the cars.
Around 10 AM on Tuesday I was doing my normal drive around, counting cars. At the west end of the lot were two men, possibly homeless, sitting there on a bench, talking. Technically I'm supposed to tell them to get the hell out, but my philosophy is that if they're not hurting anybody, then what's the harm. Usually they sit there for five minutes or so, then keep moving anyway. So I kept driving.
On my second time around the lot, I saw one of the guys standing there, while the other was still sitting. He was standing up against the wall, which is made of cinder block type stuff, so it's a wall, but you can see through it, has lots of holes. Anyway, this guy was standing there, and I couldn't tell if he was exposing himself to me, or peeing. Regardless, I wasn't happy, I just saw his penis, and I'm not very okay with that. I exit the lot, and drive around the outside of it, and immediately notice the pee dripping down the wall. God fucking dammit. I eventually turn around and go back to the lot, but by the time I got back, the other guy was peeing on the wall. Anger.
I got out of my car, walked up there and just went "You guys gotta get out of here." The peeing guy had stopped by that point and kind of just nodded and smiled at me, it was pretty creepy. The other guy began to collect his things, cigarettes, back pack, etc. Recently peeing guy basically just kept nodding and smiling, and it just kept getting creepier. Original peeing guy just kind of mumbled that they were collecting cans. Mumbling to the point that I asked him to repeat himself. Slightly louder he said "We're collecting cans." To which I said "That'd be fine with me, but that's not what you're doing, you're peeing on the wall, and I'm not okay with that."
They left without any complaint, and upon leaving the lot magically met up with two apparent friends. Maybe they weren't friends, just some sort of bum code to talk to each other, I don't know. but that's my "I saw a homeless man's penis" story. Magical, wasn't it?
posted by Sam at 3:56 AM
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